My Cyberbabe and I have a Tiff

Okay, this really isn't appropriate, so consider yourself warned. I caved to the Couture ads and went to the website to check out the Tower 200. The site wouldn't let me leave because 'Grace' popped up to chat. Here is our exchange:

Grace Says:Hey Wait!! Before you go I have been authorised to give you a FREE straight bar with your purchase of Tower 200!! CLICK HERE to claim your free gift now!!
You:Okay.

Grace Says:OK
You: I just said that, Grace.

Grace Says:So if you would like to sign up now with this great offer just CLICK HERE
You: Well, what's the offer?

Grace Says:If you’re ready to get crazy, try out the Mother of All Workouts with our 11-minute body shredding routine, featuring Randy Couture’s MMA-inspired moves like The Warrior, The Demon, and The Freak! Simply CLICK HERE.
You:Huh? I'm definitely ready to get crazy but that's not really an offer. You're being kinda cryptic, Grace.

Grace Says:In just seconds, the Tower 200 fits on any door in the house, office, or dorm. Plus it’s padded so there’s no messing up your door.
You:Whoa, you sound like a commercial, Grace. Let's just chat like regular people and you tell me the offer, okay?

Grace Says:Tower 200 gives you 200 lbs. of explosive resistance delivered through our multi-tension power cords, and over 200 exercises that push your muscles to the max.
You:I don't think you're even listening to me. Such a typical girl, Grace.

Grace Says:Yes, that's me Grace...
You: Yeah, we've established that. Now you just sound drunk.

Grace Says:So would you like to check out my last minute offer?
You:Does that offer include a hand job?

Grace Says:In just seconds, the Tower 200 fits on any door in the house, office, or dorm. Plus it’s padded so there’s no messing up your door.
You: I take it that's a no. Wait... no messing up the door? Is that a euphemism??? Grace, you minx! I will take your special offer!!!

You: Hello? Grace??? Where'd you go? Damn.

Comments

[Kindredlady]

Ahhahahahahahaha!! It's truly been a while for you if you're trying to get a cyber hand job from and autoreply. I'd offer but you're too far away. lol. If you're ever in Hoboken, well, that's a different story. :P

[Ann P]

So THAT'S why you left medicine... so you'd be able to write blog posts like this without being ostracized by your peers as unprofessional and crass. I dig it.

[DK]

That is HILARIOUS. And so typical of you....

[Mandy Meeks]

A hand job? Come on, you know how to negotiate!!! Star high, with impossible terms, then meet somewhere in the middle! Lol. Not that I believe autobot 'Grace' is trained or capable of negotiating, but I'd love to see her pseudo-programmed, so-faux-it's-probably-real artificially intelligent response to a request with a little more meat..... So to speak.... Ahem. Lol

[Mandy Meeks]

I meant 'start', not star..... But you probably already guessed that.... At least I hope you did. This comment is for all the other idiots who might have been confused:)